For years, I was the person everyone came to when they needed help.
I answered every DM. I gave advice for free, over and over, to people who never once asked how I was doing.
Then I actually needed help myself, and I got ghosted. Or I got maybe 10% of the effort I always gave.
That’s when it hit me. I was giving too much to the wrong people.
So I made a change. I started giving people the same energy they gave me.
Some stopped reaching out completely. And my life got so much more peaceful after that.
Learning how to take care of yourself as a woman isn’t just about skincare or bubble baths.
Sometimes it’s protecting your energy from people who only take.
This post includes affiliate links to products I love and recommend, meaning I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Please read the full disclosure here for more information. I also use AI to help me write, but I tell it exactly what to say based on my experiences.
What does taking care of yourself as a woman actually mean
Taking care of yourself as a woman means looking after your body, your mind, your time, and your energy.
It’s not just about self care habits like drinking water or getting more sleep. Those matter, but they’re not the whole picture.
Emotional self care matters just as much.
Who you let take from you, and how much you let yourself feel, changes everything about how drained or full you feel each day.
Real self care covers your body, your feelings, and your boundaries. All three matter, and none of them work without the other two.
Why your 30s hit different when it comes to self care
Your 30s pile on responsibility fast, and that’s exactly why self care for women in their 30s looks different than it did in your 20s.
Your career gets more demanding. Relationships can get more complicated. And family needs pile up on top of everything else.
You might be helping a parent, supporting a partner, taking care of kids, or showing up for friends going through something hard.
You’ve probably built a whole life by now.
The problem is most women keep giving to every part of that life, and forget they’re a part of it too.
Why giving your energy to the wrong people drains you dry
Giving your energy to people who never give any back will drain you completely. And you won’t notice until you’re already empty.
I learned this through my own business.
People messaged me constantly, asking for free help. I gave it because that felt like the right thing to do. I did that for years.
Then, when I needed support, the same people were nowhere to be found. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
So I decided to match the energy people gave me instead of always giving more.
If someone wants my help now, they buy my digital products, because that’s the actual value exchange.
The people who only wanted free help stopped showing up after that. I felt lighter almost immediately.
But this isn’t just a business/work lesson. It applies to friendships, family, and romantic relationships too.
If you’re always the one giving, and the other person disappears the second you need something, give them the same effort back and watch how fast they disappear.
Signs you’ve been neglecting yourself without realizing it
You’ve been neglecting yourself if you feel exhausted, resentful, and can’t remember the last thing you did just for you.
- A few other signs to watch for:
- You say yes to things you don’t want to do
- You feel tired even after sleeping enough
- You’ve stopped doing hobbies you used to love
- You ignore symptoms in your body because you’re “too busy”
- You feel numb more often than you feel anything else
If even 2-3 of those sound like you, you’ve been running on empty for a while now.
Accept it, but then STOP doing it.
How grief can quietly wreck your self care routine
Grief can wreck your self care routine by pushing you toward comfort habits that feel good for 5 minutes. And then terrible for hours after.
Let me share a story about when that happened to me. I lost my grandma in 2017, and it hit me harder than I expected.
I started eating sweets like crazy.
Not once in a while. I was eating them DAILY (yikes!).
I gained a lot of weight, and I felt awful in my own body. I kept telling myself it was just a phase.
Well, it wasn’t. It went on for years.
Even small stressful moments sent me straight to a box of cookies. I’d feel good for 5 minutes, then the guilt would hit me like a ton of bricks.
I’d sit there thinking, why am I doing this to myself?
Grief doesn’t always look like crying on the floor. Sometimes it looks like quietly falling apart through food.
So you’ll have to catch yourself fast, or it’ll become a habit.
It’s smart to write in your journal what you feel and what you’re doing. Then ask yourself, “Am I hurting myself with this?”
If the answer is yes, try to limit that activity to a minimum.
How to take care of yourself mentally and physically in your 30s
Taking care of yourself mentally and physically starts with eating in a way that supports you.
Your metabolism changes in your 30s, and your energy shifts too. What worked for your body in your 20s might not work the same way now.
Yup, we’re getting old hehe 😅
But that doesn’t mean you need a brutal diet or a punishing workout schedule.
It means noticing how food and movement actually make you feel, not just how they look on paper.
I shared my story in this article about how I lost my grandma and started eating unhealthy.
Well, eventually I decided to stop eating so many sweets and just eat healthier overall.
I didn’t do it perfectly, and I still don’t.
I took it one day at a time, and I’ve lost weight because of it.
But I’m still on that journey, and I’m okay with that.
Take it step by step, and know it might take some time to see results in your energy or body.
Just don’t go to extremes, because you’ll regret it. Try to balance it out.
Why beauty rituals still count
Bubble baths and face masks absolutely count as self care, and anyone telling you they don’t is wrong.
There’s this weird idea online that real self care has to be hard or serious.
You know, like boundaries, therapy, and journaling.
All of that matters, don’t get me wrong.
But so does soaking in the tub with your favorite scented candles around you.
If a bubble bath is what makes you feel human again, do it more often. Nobody gets to tell you that’s not real self care.
Always do what makes your soul feel good.
Grief, loss, and taking care of your mental health
Taking care of your mental health after a major loss means letting yourself feel everything instead of rushing to feel better.
My dog Ciara died on February 9th, 2026. She was my everything.
I was completely depressed for months. I didn’t have the will to live, but I also didn’t have the will to hurt myself either. I was just stuck.
After a few months, I decided to do something about it.
I didn’t get a new dog. I can’t go through that pain ever again.
Instead, I let myself feel every emotion, slowly, without rushing it.
I still look at her picture every day and talk to her like she’s right there. It might sound strange, but it’s the thing that helps me most.
Some days still hurt more than others. But I’m noticing the depression leaving my body a little more each week, and that’s healing.
So here’s my message to you if you’re going through grief:
First of all, my deepest condolences. I know it hurts, and you should allow yourself to feel that.
If you bottle the feelings, it will ruin your life.
So do whatever feels right to you – cry, journal, go to therapy, or talk to the picture of your loved one.
It doesn’t matter if it looks crazy to others. All that matters right now is your healing journey.
Setting boundaries as a woman without drowning in guilt
Setting boundaries as a woman gets easier once you remember that protecting your energy isn’t selfish.
It’s absolutely necessary.
Boundaries feel uncomfortable at first, especially if you’re used to being the “helpful one” in every relationship.
I felt that discomfort myself when I stopped giving free help to people who never gave anything back.
It felt strange at first. Then it felt like a relief.
Guilt fades fast once you notice how much calmer your life feels without people constantly draining you.
So write down your boundaries list, and commit to sticking with it.
Those boundaries are non-negotiable.
Putting yourself first when your schedule is already full
Putting yourself first doesn’t require an extra hour in your day. It just requires 10-20 minutes that are actually yours.
- Drink your coffee in silence before anyone talks to you.
- Take a quick walk around the block.
- Say no to one thing this week you would’ve normally said yes to out of habit.
Those small moments add up faster than people expect.
Motivation, self worth, and why the reason has to start with you
Your motivation lasts longer when the reason is your own self worth, not how other people see you.
Let me give you an example from my life.
I used to feel embarrassed because my niece and nephew wanted to play with me, and I was too out of breath to keep up.
That embarrassment pushed me to lose weight for a while. But it wasn’t enough in the long term.
What actually kept me going was deciding I wanted to feel good for myself, not just for them.
Self worth in your 30s looks like doing the thing because YOU deserve to feel good, not because someone’s watching.
Identity loss in your 30s and figuring out who you are again
Identity loss happens slowly, not all at once, and most women don’t notice until they’re already lost.
Been there, done that 😅
You become “the reliable one,” “the strong one,” or “the one who always shows up.” And somewhere in there, your own needs get buried 6 feet under.
Rebuilding your identity means asking what YOU actually want, separate from what everyone expects from you.
That question feels uncomfortable if you haven’t asked it in years.
If you want to find yourself again, you’ll love my article with 27 Journaling Prompts for Self Discovery To Reinvent Your Future. It walks you through digging those answers out of yourself, one question at a time.
Rest and recover when you’re running on empty
Rest isn’t a reward you earn after burning out. It’s something you build into your week.
A lot of women treat rest like it’s laziness. Like, they have to earn it first.
Oh no, lovely lady, that’s not it!
Your body doesn’t work that way. It needs recovery on a regular basis, not just when it forces you to stop.
Never allow yourself to get so exhausted because you could end up in a hospital…or worse.
I have a Facebook friend who almost passed away because she didn’t prioritize herself.
Thankfully, she’s still with us. And she always shares how important it is to rest and recover.
How to build a daily self care routine you’ll actually stick to
You’ll actually stick to a daily self care routine if you build it one habit at a time instead of overhauling your whole life in a week.
I’ve tried to do that, and I couldn’t keep up, not even for 5 days.
Most self care routines fail because people try to change 10 things at once. New diet, new workout, new sleep schedule, new morning routine, all in the same week.
That’s too much for anyone to keep up with.
- Pick one thing.
- Do it consistently for a while.
- Then add the next thing once the first one feels normal.
That’s exactly how I approach my own health changes now. Small steps, repeated daily, added up over time.
Simple beauty and body habits that don’t eat your whole day
A simple beauty routine works better than a complicated one because you’ll actually keep doing it.
A 15-step routine you skip half the time helps you less than a 3-step routine you do every day.
Wash your face, moisturize, and wear sunscreen. That covers most of what your skin needs.
The same goes for movement. A short walk you actually do daily beats an intense workout you keep putting off.
My motto is: SIMPLIFY EVERYTHING!
How you’ll know your self care is actually working
You’ll know your self care is working when you feel more like yourself again.
- For example, you’ll notice less resentment toward people who used to drain you.
- You’ll have a bit more energy, even on hard days.
- You’ll stop dreading things you used to dread, just because you’re doing them for yourself now instead of for everyone else.
Your progress will show up in how you feel, not in one big dramatic moment.
It’s smart to have a journal where you can keep track of things.
After a few months, you’ll read it and see how far you’ve come.
Prioritizing yourself again when life gets hard
How to prioritize yourself as a woman during a hard season comes down to remembering this:
Self care isn’t a one-time fix; it’s something you come back to over and over.
Grief will come back around. Stress will pile up again. People will test your boundaries again…and again and again.
But that doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re human, and you’re allowed to need this more than once.
The habits you build now become what you lean on the next time life gets hard again.
Final Thoughts
Taking care of yourself as a woman in your 30s isn’t one big dramatic change.
It’s matching people’s energy instead of over-giving. It’s letting yourself cry when you need to. And it’s choosing food and movement that actually makes you feel good.
I learned most of this through grief, burnout, and people who took more than they ever gave back.
Once I started giving myself the same care I gave everyone else, my life got much more peaceful.
You deserve that same peace, too.
